nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
