I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
