Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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