so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
