It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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