He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
