Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
sarcasm needs its own font
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
