Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
