i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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