***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
