When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
