She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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