That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
