we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
