In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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