you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
