when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
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I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I think I just sharted jello shots
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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