I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
