Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize