When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
