where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
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Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
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There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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