I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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