so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
