Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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