i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
