i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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