You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
