she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
