What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
