Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
