everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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