Already got asked if we're dating
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just found puke in my bra..
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
