Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
