I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
