ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
