Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There's always time for handjobs
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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