I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
