just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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