So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
