Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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