What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
