I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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