You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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