Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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