Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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