i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
