question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
