Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
