What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
