i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
