Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize