So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
