kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
