Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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