The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize