My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
