this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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